Its about making memories worth repressing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
