Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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