She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
