You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
