oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he shaved USA in his pubs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
