I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize