How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Text me some of your sweat
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
