im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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