you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
