just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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