Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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