just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
