I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize