I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
