were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
