Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
