Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
