Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
