Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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