Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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