I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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