But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
