Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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