After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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