dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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