I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
