There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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