You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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