Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
