At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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