is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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