D3 body, D1 cock
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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