I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
