i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
