the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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