I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
