He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't turn off my feet"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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