we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
