hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
