okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
