I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
