I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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