me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
