She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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