wat bout pragnant strippers??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
