I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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