Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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