he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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