I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
