you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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