It's Friday. Sex?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just high enough for therapy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
