just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize