Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
