I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
