My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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