Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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