I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize