why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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