I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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