I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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