So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
