I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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