"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
