we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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