So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
