Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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