the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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