she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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