I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
