why didn't you poke me back
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
