My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
